Disclaimer: So not mine. I was supposed to get him for Christmas, but, well, Santa can be cruel sometimes. ^_^
Summary: Alex didn't tag his life with the usual system...
Word Count: 527
Forget BC and AD. Alex tagged his life with Before MI6 and After MI6.
Before MI6, if he saw someone being bullied at school, he wouldn’t hesitate to help them. After MI6, he turned away and ignored it.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help the poor kid, he did want to. He felt guilty when he didn’t. but at the same time, he couldn’t risk accidentally hurting the relatively innocent bully.
The reasons for that were actually very selfish. It wasn’t so much that he was just worrying about hurting the bully because he’d be hurting the bully so much as it was that he was too scared for himself.
It was bad enough when the person that he hurt was truly deserving. Even hurting the people who had huge plans to kill millions of people tore Alex up inside.
He was afraid. He was so, so afraid of losing himself to the darkness that he felt swarming through him, the darkness that he saw when he closed his eyes.
So he didn’t help the smaller, bullied boy. And he didn’t help the next time, or the time after that.
But then, one day he returned from a mission, and the first thing that he saw at school was the small boy being bullied again. It was worse than usual. His light brown hair was matted with sweat, and blood from a cut on his forehead.
And even while the bully continued to laugh and hit him, the smaller boy’s eyes met Alex’s across the yard. The blue eyes were resigned, and he didn’t protest the hits and the treatment.
Alex didn’t see the younger boy there anymore, being beaten. Instead, he saw himself, and the bully was MI6.
It terrified him to realize that he was just as unresisting as the small boy was being. Alex was allowing MI6 to push him around, he was allowing them to control him. They were forcing him to hurt people. They were forcing him to hurt himself over and over. They were taking away his fight.
And the worst thing was that Alex was letting them.
He was letting them control his life, just as he was standing by idly and watching the bully control the smaller boy.
Alex made his decision.
He walked with quick, sure steps over to bully and victim, and oh so very carefully, he punched the bully in the nose, quickly and still carefully following through with a kick to the stomach.
The bully was fairly obviously not used to being on this end of the beating. He fell to his knees, swearing at Alex in gasps.
Alex wanted to hit the bully again, to gain control over him. To just gain control over anything.
But he didn’t. That would make him like MI6, and that was a fate worse even than being controlled himself.
Instead, Alex led the small boy away to the bathrooms. He cleaned the cuts gently, and watched as the helplessness left both of their faces in the mirror.
“Y’know,” Alex said softly, “you shouldn’t let people control you.”
Now Alex tagged his life Before, During, and After.